im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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