some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
