But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
they need to just BURY HIM!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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