That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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