if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
