Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
