...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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