He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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