HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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