It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
