Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I need to sanitize my soul.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
