I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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