why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
