Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
