so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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