I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
