thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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