Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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