I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
