the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Houston, we have a squirter
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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