C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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