I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
