Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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