So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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