I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
