ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
