Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize