i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
