Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
