i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
