he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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