I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
