last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
