Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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