i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
