This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
