i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
