p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
