never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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