he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
