so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
this boner is exhausting
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
