it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
