my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
