apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
