well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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