we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
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C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Never joke about your clitoris.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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