Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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