youre lurking in front of me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
