Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
