Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize