yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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