Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
