He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
