I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
