i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
