Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
People in love make me want to vomit
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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