What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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