my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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