So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
