Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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