you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
