I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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