..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize