I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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