Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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