his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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