I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
