My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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