just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
