my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
