Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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