she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've blown a few things in my day
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
