Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can I color on your dick again?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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