i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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